Perspective on Embracing the Suck

 

            I was told to be here. I was told this was mandatory training and I had to make every effort to be here and devise a coverage plan for my unit during my absence. “This training supersedes everything else you’re doing or think you’re doing! You must participate … and do so with a good attitude, Soldier!”

            So, I go. I coordinate for both coverage in my absence and transportation to the training site a few travel hours distance from home station. Despite being a Chaplain, I’m a Soldier too, and I know my warrior ethos dictate I always place the mission first … to do so means to eliminate as many obstacles as possible which inevitably present on one’s way to completing said mission. Today was no different.

            After what seemed like three hours of stop and go traffic with twists and turns every few minutes rather than the smooth flow of uninterrupted interstate traffic, we arrived at our destination. The “camp” to which we had arrived is much larger than the one on which I’m stationed. This camp is just another American military city injected and grown within a foreign country … a country in which we have occupied to some degree or other for over 80 years.

            You know … a lot can happen in 80 years. Hiroshima has been revitalized in less time. Nagasaki has done likewise. It continues to amaze me how despite our human effort to eradicate one another with our military technology … the Earth fights back! Mother Earth has no intention of allowing humans to best her. Just wait and see.

            Eventually I’m taken to my room. I’m an officer and I’m given a room in an enlisted barracks. Does my questioning of placement signify my arrogance or entitlement? We’ll come back to that one. Prior to entering my room, I’m told these are not good spaces. I don’t know what to expect in this unfamiliar space. I’ve lived in some deplorable spaces … bombed out buildings in Iraq … in the back of a Bradley Fighting Vehicle in the Udairi Training Range in Kuwait … under a tarp in the snow and ice of the German winter … I’m no stranger to The Suck.

            However, … I recognize this … when I’m not expecting those environments … not expecting The Suck … I tend to lean towards entitlement … or what I feel like others are compelled to give me because of who I am … or what I’ve done … or who I know … yeah, pretty much entitlement. It’s a bit arrogant and truth be told … I’m not a fan of arrogance so I’m not a fan of myself when I recognize I’m in that place with my attitude.

            What did The Suck bring me this time? I entered my room. It was sparse and reminded me of the first few nights I stayed in $20 per night motels when I started seminary. The type of place where you feel like someone’s going to walk in with an ax and massacre you or a Ranger Battalion of cockroaches are going to come in and whisk you away into the back wall where no trace of your existence will ever be found! This place, however, does have a microwave, a fridge, dresser, desk & chair, and a bed. That’s all you really need anyway for a couple of nights, right?

            Wrong! You need toilet paper for a two-night stay! I have hit the bottom (literally) of The Suck! Really! No toilet paper. A little head’s up on toiletries would’ve been nice. I trekked through the brisk evening to find a store selling the household items of which I speak. Success! Well … at least for that moment. During my initial inspection, I noticed an odd ring around the toilet seat. Not a ring of someone’s indifferent defecation but a darker side of the environment in which I now found myself.

As I placed a roll on the back of the commode and one on the dispenser, I realized the darker stains on the seat were black mold. I tried to wipe the seat clean with the first of the paper roll believing this would make my time in this space a little more enjoyable … and healthier. I’m not sure. Getting to the bottom of it ... (see what I did there) ... I realize how entitled I’ve become.

As a former NCO now officer, I often go back to the NCO Creed as a point of reference during times such as this. My line is this: “I will not use my grade or position to attain pleasure, profit, or personal safety.” I’m also reminded of a line from the True Gentlemen: “Who thinks of the rights and feelings of others rather than his own.” And my favorite, Matthew 2:26-28 ESV “But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

A reminder to us all … none of us is too good or too important to embrace the suck for the sake of others (we might just be helping ourselves out by embracing it) … nor must we go out of our way to create the suck for others just to prove a point. We just need to keep things in perspective.